Sometimes we get upset when “others” in our life do not say or do what we expect them to. Then, we often judge those “others,” using our own values and habits and say: “I wouldn’t have done or said that, if I were her/him.” Well, the truth is that you are NOT her/him. You are a different individual with YOUR value system, intentions for life, habits, familial and societal history and ways of expressing yourself or doing things. She/he is another individual with her/his own beliefs, behaviors and attitudes which are DIFFERENT than yours. You have never walked in their shoes to know what it is like to be them, so instead of feeling righteous about your ways of doing and saying things, try for a moment to close your eyes and imagine what it is like to be them.
You can’t be mad at others or hate them for not being like you, not wanting the same things as you do, or for having different values than you do… Well, I take that back… you can, but please explain to me how that is helpful to anybody… Stop negatively judging the “others” in your life, for being “Different” than you. This way there is a higher likelihood for you to enjoy your life and also, to create a space around you in which “others” can feel free to be themselves and enjoy their life with you. Life may not be kind or fair, but you can be!
This perspective can open up new windows to a more fun and enjoyable life for us and those we love. For example, you can give the benefit of the doubt to your romantic partner, and be open to be pleasantly surprised to find out that their “eccentricities” are not as awful as you had judged them to be in the beginning! You might even find those “odd behaviors and mannerisms” fun and interesting if you don’t assume “sameness” and allow them to be who they are despite your differences in preferences and attitudes. I have seen many people including myself who have found a food, a drink, a characteristic, a hobby or an activity that they did not consider “their taste,” to be actually pleasant, interesting, fun to do, and interesting to engage in, when they have kept themselves open to variety of choices and options that life can offer to them. Much of what we believe is “appropriate” or “acceptable” is what the society has dictated to us. They are not actually OUR choices. So are you ready to give yourself the chance to experience something different than what you have considered “acceptable, right or appropriate?” Believe it or not, you can develop taste for things that you have never imagined you would enjoy or like. And then you will have more options and choices available to bring in joy, laughter, and harmony into your life… Think about it!